How to Talk to Your Friend About Addiction and Stay Positive
Bringing up the idea of addiction is never easy. For many, it can be a point of shame, embarrassment, or denial. Plus, it can be extremely hard to talk to someone about their addiction.
It can be similar to speaking with someone who just lost a loved one. What are the right words? Are there any perfect words? Is there anything that will help them?
There is no perfect blueprint out there for talking with someone dealing with addiction, but there are some practices that you can be sure to follow when it comes to talking with a friend or loved one about addiction.
Research First
If you’ve never struggled with addiction, you may not have a very good idea of what they’re going through. You can read and research their addiction to see what they may be feeling or explaining why they’re acting a certain way.
While they’re bound to tell you more along the way, it doesn’t hurt to be prepared and have a basic understanding of their struggles.
Two Ears, One Mouth
Your mother, grandmother, and teacher have probably told you 1,000 times that you have two ears and one mouth. Now is the time to put that cliche to good use.
When you start talking to them, it’s important that you listen intently. Don’t try to interrupt or suggest big changes. Make sure you maintain eye contact and ask questions along the way to try and understand.
Be Understanding and Kind
The last thing someone struggling with addiction wants to hear is judgmental remarks or hurtful words. They have taken a big step in opening up to you and are looking for a shoulder to lean on, not a voice that criticizes them.
More than likely, they are going to receive those harsh words and tough love somewhere else or have already, and you don’t want to be piling more on top of them.
So keep any criticisms, “I told you so’s”, sarcastic jokes or insults locked away.
Try to be Consistent and Predictable
When someone opens up to you about their addiction, it may have been a long time coming. Your response to them needs to be consistent over time. Whatever the message you portray at the beginning needs to be the message you continue portraying throughout your talks with them.
In terms of being predictable, that goes hand in hand with being consistent. You don’t want to turn from the listening ear to a drill sergeant and back again during a week.
Support Their Changed Habits
Just as there is no perfect blueprint for talking to someone with an addiction, there is no perfect blueprint for changing their habits.
Each individual is going to do things their own way and it’s best if you’re supporting the routes that they take. Remember, this is their fight, not yours, and they need to be the ones that ultimately recognize their addiction and take action. Don’t try to be the change for them or make them do something they don’t want to.
At the end of the day, if you see your loved one struggling beyond a point where you think you’re able to help them, perhaps you can consider helping them get treatment. Whatever the case may be, we’re here to help anytime.
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