7 Things You DON'T Say to Someone in Recovery
Recovery is a beautiful journey marked by self-discovery and transformation. That doesn't mean that it's easy, linear, or guaranteed. If your friend or loved one is in recovery, providing the proper support could be the difference between recovery and relapse. In honor of April being Alcohol Awareness month, we give you the inside scoop on ten things you DON'T say to someone in recovery.
You Don't Look Like An Alcoholic
This statement may be well-intentioned, but the result will almost always be awkward silence. What should an alcoholic look like? Many equate alcoholism with homelessness, unemployment, and crime. The reality is that alcoholism exists on a spectrum, and you should celebrate your friend or loved one seeking help before they resemble a stereotype.
Are You Sure You Can't Just Cut Down? If someone has told you that they are in recovery, they've tried cutting down, and it didn't work. The majority of people in recovery probably tried cutting down hundreds of times, to no avail. Asking this question not only trivializes the topic of alcoholism but diminishes the huge decision they've taken to transform their lives.
I Totally Get It. I Can't Live Without Chocolate / Coffee / Outside Validation
While you may feel you can't live without your morning cup of joe, it is not the same. Your attempt to empathize may trivialize a very serious and complex process. Alcohol Use Disorder destroys lives and kills almost 90,000 people a year in the US. Your slip-up might mess up your diet. Theirs could cost them their lives.
What Happened?
If someone decides to disclose their recovery status to you, understand that this may have been a challenging conversation for them to have. People usually have several reasons for finally giving up alcohol. You can lend an open ear without being pushy. However, forcefully prying into painful or private experiences is at best insensitive and, at worst, could provoke relapse. Trust that you have the level of information they wish to disclose at that time.
I Can Stop Whenever I Want
If we really think about it, when on the history of the planet has this helped anyone? We are all built differently, with unique strengths and weaknesses. In fact, many studies show a link between the increased likelihood to binge drink among people with higher IQ scores. Addiction is a disease, not a condition that one can rationalize or think their way out of, so it shouldn't be treated as such.
Do You Think You'll Relapse?
Recovery, especially in the early stages, can be a haphazard process. Some alcoholics relapse on their recovery journey. People who have never struggled with addiction cannot comprehend the emotional fortitude required for an alcoholic to avoid drinking in early sobriety. Help them by staying positive and reinforcing the benefits of their new life.
I'm So Sorry!
Apologizing profusely is probably the worst thing you could do to someone in recovery when they disclose their status. Recovery is the best possible gift someone could give themselves. There is a reason why you hear people who have recovered shouting from the rooftops about how wonderful their lives became after they made the first big step, because it's true.
There you have it, seven things you don't say to someone in recovery. If you liked what you read and want more, check out our blog. If you are worried about a loved one's drinking, reach out for help. A team member will get in touch for a 100% confidential conversation, no strings attached.
